1. "Joy" - Andrea Wilson Woods Terry McMullen 1:01:46

My guest, Andrea, and I spent an hour trying to make sense of a seemingly simple word– “joy.” If joy is your guiding light what happens when the thing you think you need to do does not result in joy? Does that mean you are doing the wrong thing or are you just a bad person?

Is all joy the same? Is the joy of partying in college, being free, and having a good time with friends; is that joy the same as the joy you get caring for a sick loved one? Should we be using the same term to explain the feeling of helping your sister bath because she is too weak from cancer treatments to do it herself?

If you are one of the “lucky” ones who has the ability and the tolerance to deal with suffering, look passed it, and find ways to endure so that you can still have joy in life–is that a gift or a curse? Why are joy and suffering so interconnected?

When I have a guest who has had such deep, life changing experiences, it feels like such an opportunity to explore questions like these and try to make sense of it all. Andrea is that guest, as she’s dealt with a difficult childhood, abusive relationships, becoming a mom to her younger sister, and then watching her sister/daughter die at the age of 15 from cancer. These are horrific experiences, which don’t even get into what life has been like since her sister passed away (lost friendships, the grieving process, depression, etc.).

Fortunately there are people like Andrea in this world who go through these experiences and then try to use them to find/bring more joy in the world. It sounds counter intuitive, if not impossible. But Andrea now spends much of her life as a patient advocate who founded the nonprofit Blue Faery: The Adrienne Wilson Liver Cancer Association. Andrea is the CEO and co-founder of Cancer University, a for-profit, social-benefit, digital health company. She is also an author of a medical memoir titled Better Off Bald: A Life in 147 Days.

It was truly special to spend time with Andrea and have an authentic conversation with her about it all. To try to understand if it is actually possible to find joy in a life filled with so much suffering. I hope you guys enjoy this one as much as I did.  

I spent much of my career trying to consult companies on how to better achieve their goals. I was a Finance major, a Harvard Business School graduate, and a business strategist. I've always been curious and I've always loved trying to solve problems. It was a really good fit for a while, but then life happened.

Within the span of a couple of years I had a son, my sister tragically passed away, and my wife became severely ill with Multiple Sclerosis. All of a sudden everything I thought I knew about life didn't seem to make sense anymore. I needed to raise my son and teach him how to be a good person but I realized I didn't even know what it meant to be a good person, let alone know how to teach him to be one. I also realized that I wasn't capable of being the person my wife needed me to be to help care for her. Simply put, I wasn't good enough.