If you’ve ever wondered what hides behind even the most loving Relationships, this episode reveals how a psychologist faced love, betrayal, and loss—and found healing by writing the truth no one talks about.

In today’s episode, I’m joined by Dr. Bonnie Comfort, a licensed psychologist with over 30 years of experience working with individuals and couples. Her therapeutic focus has long centered on the emotional intricacies of marriage, Intimacy, and identity. In her candid memoir, Staying Married is the Hardest Part, she shares the deeply personal story of her own marriage—one marked by love, painful conflict, and profound transformation. Through her writing and speaking, Dr. Comfort strives to challenge the assumption that therapists have it all figured out, using her voice to normalize conversations around sexual shame, grief, and the complexities of long-term relationships.

Throughout this episode, Bonnie opens up about the 33-year journey she shared with her late husband, reflecting on how their struggles often paralleled those of her clients. She speaks with disarming honesty about topics rarely discussed openly—like body image, emotional disconnect, and the shame surrounding sexual incompatibility. Writing became a powerful tool in her healing process, allowing her to explore grief, process loss, and rediscover who she was outside the identity of a wife. Her insights highlight the ongoing connection we can maintain with lost loved ones and the importance of creative expression, vulnerability, and community as pathways to healing.

Tune in as Dr. Bonnie Comfort shares how love, loss, and personal struggle led her to write a bold memoir—offering a heartfelt path to healing and self-discovery after grief.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

Love, conflict, and loss (1:40)

Why therapists write (3:12)

Breaking the silence on sexual shame (4:45)

The illusion of therapist perfection (6:30)

Conversations with the dead (7:40)

Loving more than one person (9:05)

Rituals for grief and rediscovery (13:50)

Saying yes to life again (18:40)

Final reflections and resources (27:00)

Connect with Dr. Bonnie Comfort:

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Book: Dr. Bonnie Comfort – Staying Married is the Hardest Part

Let’s Connect:

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The Grief and Happiness Alliance

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Emily Thiroux Threatt Podcast Host, Facilitator, Author

Having gone through the experience of the deaths of so many loved ones, I have learned to face life with love, optimism, and joy.

I have kept journals and written to express myself most of my life which led me to a career of teaching writing and writing books. I naturally turned to writing to help deal with my grief, then I discovered I could use writing to help friends deal with grief, too.

In contemplating how I could best help the grieving people I was working with, my Ignite moment came when realized the importance of helping people understand the importance of happiness and how they could grieve and be happy at the same time.

To share my message, I host the Grief and Happiness podcast, I wrote the book Loving and Living Your Way Though Grief, I facilitate weekly meetings of the Grief and Happiness Alliance, I founded the Grief and Happiness nonprofit foundation, I publish a weekly newsletter and blog, and my new book, The Grief and Happiness Handbook is coming out soon.