56. Daddy's Little Secret

56. Daddy's Little Secret Diane Dierks & Rick Voyles 30:32

One of the most difficult situations co-parents have to deal with is when there are secrets kept between them. Secrets are usually pretty important topics and should probably be disclosed to the other co-parent, and if the children are involved in this secret, it creates a whole new layer of issues. Children can’t understand why secrets are kept, or why they’re being told to keep them. It puts them in the middle of the entire secret, and naturally they internalize the blame, which can be detrimental to their emotional development. So what do you do if your child comes home with a secret from your co-parent?

Topics discussed in this episode:

What to do when your ex asks your child to keep a secret
Why you should take the world “why” out of your vocabulary when co-parenting
The effects on the child when keeping a secret from your co-parent
How your reaction to finding out a secret can affect children
Importance of asking how the child feels about the situation
How to take the children out of the middle of the secret keeping
Benefits of giving the benefit of the doubt

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Diane Dierks & Rick Voyles Podcasters

DIANE DIERKS is a licensed marriage and family therapist, as well as the executive director of the Center for Navigating Family Change (www.CNFC.org), a non-profit that provides court-ordered parenting education and co-parenting services to the state of Georgia. She has been a parenting coordinator and reunification therapist for many years, and provides consultation and expert witness services in high conflict custody matters. She resides in St. Simons Island, Georgia, with her husband and their three-legged Lab mix and one-eyed Yorkie. She has two grown children and two grandchildren.

RICK VOYLES is CEO of the Center for Dispute Solutions, as well as a certified business coach, an anger management specialist and a professional mediator. Rick travels internationally, training and developing federal mediators in their agency ADR programs. He is a published author, business coach and entrepreneur. He has developed an online Mediation Training including over 17 video presentations. He has also produced a TV program, “Conflict, Mediation and You” where he discusses topics in conflict management, as well as mediation techniques. Rick is a subject matter expert in the areas of Divorce, Co-parenting, Negotiation, Cross-cultural Communication and Conflict Resolution. He frequently teaches court-ordered co-parenting seminars and is a trained parenting coordinator. He lives in Atlanta with his wife, Janet.