Co-creating Peace Episode #58 – “Here Comes the Judge” Kathleen Oweegon 31:38

Welcome to “Here Comes the Judge”, Episode #58 of Co-creating Peace, a podcast series about conscious communication and conflict transformation.

Have you ever noticed yourself writing a story in your head about something that has happened in the world or in your life? For example, think about the events of January 6th. What stories did you write in your head about the people involved or their motivations for doing what they did. What judgements came up for you? Even if you know someone who was there and they told you what their motivations were, that is only one person of the thousands who were there, and the truth for each of them might be different and there is no way for any of us to possibly know their truth unless we’ve asked them. But yet, it’s so easy and – in a way – perfectly natural for us to fill in the blanks in our information with our assumptions and our judgements. Our brain wants to know the whole story, and when it doesn’t have that information, it will fill in the gaps with assumptions based on the way that we see the world – our frame of reference.

Or what about when someone doesn’t respond to an email? Our first assumption is that they received our email. Our second assumption is that just because we didn’t receive an email reply, they must not have sent one. Then we start thinking, “I guess I’m not important enough to bother responding to”. Or, “They must not want to collaborate with me.” Or something else along those lines. Then, based on our assumptions, we think, “What a jerk!” or “How arrogant!”

Here comes the judge!

We become the judge, the jury, or both, and from there, we render the verdict and impose the sentence. In the case of those who participated in the events of January 6th, depending on whose actions we judge to be right or wrong, we determine in our own minds what should happen next. All this based on what we may have heard on the news or by word of mouth, without having actually heard the “testimony” – as it were – of those we are judging.

In the case of the person we’ve determined to be guilty of not replying to our email, our verdict may be something like “That’s it then! I’m done with them!” Then we become the executioner and sever our relationship with them.

We judge and condemn them, and even execute the sentence, all without even knowing whether or not they received our email, or – if they did – whether or not they responded.

Joining me again is Michael Lightweaver, to share his observations and remedies for this all-too-common phenomenon.

You may recall that Michael Lightweaver was with us for Episode 9, when we talked about the power of deeply hearing others. Our conversation today is related in many ways.

Michael has led a long and interesting life of service to humanity. Among his many accomplishments, in 2002 he founded the International Institute for Global Leadership, an internet-based study program, whose primary mission is to provide a tuition-free education to individuals who wish to become high-integrity, heart-centered and conscious leaders in their communities and the world.

Michael now serves as the steward of the Mountain Light Sanctuary a spiritual retreat center in a remote mountain cove near Asheville, North Carolina where he offers guidance sessions to those who seek him out.

Michael has also published 3 books: The World According to Michael, A Day of Grace, and Conscious Creation 101.

You can learn more about the International Institute for Global Leadership by goin

Contact Kathleen Oweegon at: oweegon@bridgesofpeace.com to share your ideas and feedback for this show. You can receive a free 30-minute communication Coaching session by being a guest on Co-creating Peace to talk about your communication challenges and receive Kathleen's suggestions on the air. Visit BridgesofPeace.com to learn more about Kathleen and her work.

Kathleen Oweegon Educator, Podcast Host, Communication Coach, Mediator, Facilitator

Kathleen Oweegon is the founder of Bridges of Peace with offices in Oregon and New Mexico. She also serves on the Board of Directors of International Institute for Global Leadership.

Kathleen has been a educator in communication and leadership skills for over 40 years, working with institutions and in the private sector. She has received over 250 hours of training in conflict resolution and related skills, and has created, co-designed and delivered many trainings in mindfulness, leadership, mediation, facilitation and conflict-free communication.